grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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