Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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