That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
