dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
