Princesses don't give blow jobs
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
