Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
