sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
