Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
