so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
