I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
