I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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