It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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