Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I love you.
Bad choice
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