the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
