I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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