Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize