Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
