Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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