He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
