Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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