how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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