Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
