from now on my penis is your penis
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
