I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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