So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i came on her dog
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
