Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
