thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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