I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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