when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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