so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
