I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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