have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
