I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
