at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
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Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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