I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
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