Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
COCAINE IS GR8
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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