weddingsv make me drug and hornr
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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