Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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