i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
