I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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