i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
