oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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