I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
