I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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