The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Are my feet made of real feet?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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