i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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