You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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