Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
