the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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