nut hugger
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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