I just saw a hot homeless man
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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