I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
