He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
