They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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