Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
