dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
