I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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