dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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