That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You are a genius and a whore.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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