the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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