i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
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A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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