there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
