I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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