So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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