i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
