just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
