just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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