it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
