There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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