I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
