Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize