Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
