I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
